The Comparison of Family Education between China and Western(2)
1st, emphasis is laid on family education.
No matter which country you come from, what nationality you belong to all think the family is a person's first school, and the parent is the first teacher. Either China or Western countries, either the ancient times or the modern times, family education is always in the most fundamental position.
2nd, family education should be started since childhood, perform the duty promptly.
Family instruction of Yan said that,“ The parents should do the missionary work, when the infant is young. Judging from his facial expression, we know whether he is angry or happy, then give instructions.”[ “Family Instruction of Yan” , Zhitui Yan, Southern and Northern Dynasties] Because “it’s easy to concentrate a child’s attention. After he grows up, his attention is easily dispersed, so a child must be caught early.” Dewey also thought the family education should be executed early.
3rd, parents' unsuilable role division in education brings about some bad results.
Either in China or in the West mother is almost described in many cultures as the main fosterer, and then father plays only a part. The father is the main undertaker who teaches the child to know the rationality education. Mother is responsible for child's food and drink in daily life, the material guarantee, the emotional satisfaction and so on, is also the main undertaker of child’s emotional cultivation. Its result is that the child holds his father in awe and veneration and causes the poor relation between child and father, and thus affects child's perfect development.
4th, pay attention to the training the children’s longing for knowledge, value reading.
The Chinese parents of ancient times, fully realized this truth, they guided the childern in reading the Four Books and the Five Classics when they are young, all the various schools of thought, stimulated their desire for seeking knowledge. The western parents also focus on family reading. The childern must listen to section of stories before sleeping, and this is a fine tradition of Western family education.
5th, attach importance to teaching by personal example as well as verbal instruction.
The parents are child's models, usually a simple movement ismore effective than the inculcation of ten thousand instructions.
However, the traditional family education in China, on account of the respective differences in more aspects is different from that in the West . They have their own characteristics between regions and cultures.[ ?ArticleID=200]
To begin with, the tendency of education is different.
The Chinese parents lay emphasis on social enlightenment, ignore the growth of children. The Chinese parents take the social compatible enlightenment seriously, but often neglect the development of children's characteristics, they often train the children under established forms , and lay down the broad road for their growth.
The western parents provide the children a environment for growth resistant to them, and foster their tenacious individuality and the good conduct, and they choose their idea and way of cultivation according to the change of society and the characteristic of children physical and mental.
Secondly, the value of family education is different.
The function of China’s family education is forced by the China’s traditional culture. The Chinese traditional Confucian culture emphasize “the cultivation of one’s moral character, the running of one’s family, the administration of a state, the peace and security of the world”. In this directional thought, the family education is bestowed on the direct social significance. In addition, the Chinese traditional culture also regards the family education and children's individual growth as the direct correlative causes and effects. The Chinese parents care about the reputation in educating the child, thinking educating the child to become a useful person is their achievement, but if not, the parents feel shameful. The education's goal is for earning their living, for honor.
The western family education is different from china in the educational goal. Education is not the preparation for earning their living, but for survival. “The learned education” they emphasize has the value of molding one’s mind, one kind of value which has nothing to do with the utility or the occupation consideration.
Perhaps many Chinese parents deny this point, and think that I am talking nonsense and do not respect the elder. But the fact is actually so. As is known, the parents usually discuss their own child, and compare other child with their own child. Especially, the child's study is considered as the object of comparison. I have a neighbor, whose child just goes to the elementary school. But the child has carried his big bag to make up his lesson every day and everywhere. Because, my neighbor had chats with his friend one day, and his friend told him, his child, who had not gone to school, could know 300 Chinese Characters, but also could read the ancient poetry, and let the child perform on the scene. Told of this, my friend was stimulated. Due to his child is same age with that child, he was much more anxious, and brought a book to test the child’s intelligence according to the way in this book. Besides these, if other’s child won the first prize, he would have the nightmare in the evening, because his child always came at the 20th of the list in the elementary school.
When the child goes to college, the parents’ comparison is more intense. “Which university does your child attend?” If the child studies in Qinghua, Beijing University, or other famous universities, the parents will take a pride in their child; if the child has not been matriculated in a famous university, the parents will feel sad and ashamed of facing relatives. Above all, we can know Chinese parents put their faces in the first place. And in the western countries, these things never happen. An American friend, who is only graduated from a specialized middle school, works in a small store. In my opinion, he is almost below the life’s “the safety line”, and has little to be proud of. But his parents appreciate actually him much more. Why? Because he takes part in the piano performance in the community frequently, and obtains the reward many times. The main difference is that the college chosen by the Chinese children is usually famous one, and the Western children choose the college according to their own likes, instead of taking “famous or top college”as the decision factor.[ ]
All this shows that the comparison of the Chinese family is often again studies, the aspect is unitary, and the comparison of the Western family often pays great attention to the comprehensive quality. The Chinese family likes to compare their own child's merits with other child's shortcomings, in which the parents may seek self-consolation. The western family often introspect their own child's merits and success, is not accustomed to seeking to do others down. To summarize, China's family often wants to highlight own image, disparages others unintentionally in the comparison; the western family often pays great attention to his own self-respect, self-possession, own happy.
In fact, Western family does not make the comparison painstakingly, but the Chinese family’s comparison has brought about a serious problem: Competing
Thirdly, the view of who is the main body of the family and the reciprocity of education are different.
The Chinese traditional family culture is following the dominant pattern, displays the family’s internal authority consciousness. It emphasis obedience and respects, takes the external control serious. The chief educator is parents in china’s traditional culture. The Chinese parents' guardian-consciousness is extremely intense. They regard the child as their own private property, regard him as their accessory. Therefore, the parents think highly of shaping the child unlaterally, affects the child's individuality construction. They pay attention to their own image, has neglected the child and adult's interaction, its process and comprenensiveness, so it causes the child to be in the passive position, disregard of the child's individual existence.
Whereas, the western civilization takes the child as the main body, emphasizes individual struggle, emphasizes equality, democracy and respects the individual right. The western parents think of the child as an equal member in the family, respect the child's personality and dignity, can let the child think independently and choose freely. They respect the child's right, do not do the compulsory education. They respect the child's self-respect, advocate child's instinct development, and the natural development. Parents' responsibility only lies in discovering and guiding the child's interests and potential ties, creating the advantageous environment for the child, paying attention the communication with the child, and the educational reciprocity. In the western home education, the parents are not child's dominations, but his friends.
Fourthly, the focal point of education is different.
What the China’s traditional culture grasps is life and morals, so the Chinese value life and the human relations extremely. Therefore, the Chinese parents have regarded the morals as the highest value orientation in the education. Especially, in the Chinese mind, “the good child” is a child who is obedient and sensible at first, aims at the community, liked at first sight. In that case, the guardian trains the child to practice the moral culture, cultivates mental poise, self-restraining, emphasizes reservation, and the idea of social rank. The main connotation of Chinese family education is “the mercy, righteousness, the ritual, the wisdom, the honesty, loyalty, forgiveness”, and the Chinese child was taught by historical story, ethics, loyalty, filial piety and integrity when he was young. The child was influenced by the ice-cold moral law and the rules and regulations, and studied 3-character classic and Younger brother Cuckoo since childhood.
Yet, what the western culture grasps is knowledge, the family mainly arouses the child’s the curiosity about and the imagination of nature. As we all know knowledge creation comes from curiosity. So parents by making children interested in the nature and fairy stories, let the children have a broader imagination space, so as to help the knowledge creation. In addition, they regard the psychological development as the highest direction, so the cultivation of child's interest and the creativity is the main point of Western family education.
Fifthly, the difference in proportion between family and the individual.
The China’s traditional culture takes the family as the focus, pays great attention to individual responsibility and duty. This is performed in the value orientation: (1) family education function is strengthened. In the Chinese tradition of society, family shoulders many kinds of social functions. It has the bright characteristics of building the country and family with concerted efforts. But the children education is a part of family life's extension, so the home education's vital role also lies in achieving the goal“the family education is lasting”. It is a tool with which the positions of family and social politics are maintained and developed family culture is presented and carried forward. (2) Education takes family benefit as the main value orientation. “Bring honor to ancestors”, “the illustrious family status” are scholar's goal to pursue . The personal interest and the family benefit are merging into one organic whole. It is closely related to “the view of immotality” of Chinese traditional culture.
The western culture takes individual as a focus paying great attention to individual freedom and right. And in education, the westerners’ place the educated in prominent status, with the emphasis of the cultivation of individuality. The Individuals standard and family transforms are closely correlative. This educational tradition was established, which experienced “Renaissance movements” from the 14th to the 16th centuries, “Franch bourgeois ideology Enlightenment” in the 18th century as well as the “ideological trends” and so on at the beginning of 20th century. Then, Rousseau initiated the natural and free education. Dewey proposed that education is growth, education is life, individual is the main body who grasps his own experience construction. But the individual standard is not equal to individualism, does not equate itself to taking the child as the center. The family needs the individual of rich individuality, who can tame himself, control himself, surpass himself, a modern man with perfect moral quality, healthy individuality . Instead of a selfish and dependent utilitarian.
Sixthly, the cultivation of independent consciousness is different.
The Chinese guardians think the value of education is studying for entering a higher school, they only ask the child to study attentively, without bothering about other things. So the childern’s consciousness of all-round development is faint. So the child has no opportunity to develop and enhance his qualities in many aspect. The Chinese parents place their hopes on the child, the sense of responsibility for education is overloaded. The unsuitable extending of guardian role, the replacements of the child to arrange everything in daily life, to stipulate the study content. and to settle the development direction. Therefore, the child becomes all dependent individual, lacks independent character. It causes the child to be able to do nothing but knowledge study. The meticulous concern, helps to form the habit of relying on others. So when facing the storm, he is unable to do anything. Being unable to get the help, he will blame everyone and everything but himself.
The western parents pay great attention to raising children's independent consciousness since childhood. In the Western family, you may see the child addresses his visit relatives and friend by name, bolds expresses his own opinion, participates in family discussion as adults do. He solves some problems all by himself. The parents do not reprove the child casually. They leave the child an opportunity of undergoing a process of tempering. All this enables the child to dare to rush, dare to do, dare to take a risk, dare to display himself. Let the child learn how to make a living since childhood, have the strong physique,the quality of bearing hardships and standing hard work, and good psychological quality, thus moves towards life with perfect composure. Such independent individuality causes the child to pay great attention to individual ability and the struggle when he moves towards the society.
Seventhly, the difference in emotional education and corporal punishment.
Why family education is different from school education? An important characteristic is that family education is love education. However, maybe the Chinese traditional culture emphasizes “reserve”, the Chinese family is not good at expressing love, and the emotional education is very weak. The communication between Chinese parents and the child is characteristic of China. And in the Chinese family , such characters as “no”, “cannot”, “won’t do”, “do not ”appear repeatedly, the Chinese collective education is accustomed to saying to the child “should” besides using the negative term to instruct the child's behavior. This is the manifeslation of guardian authoritative colouring. Such raw and cold order phrases cause the emotional education to be blocked. But “one can not become a useful person without being beaten”, “the club helps the child to be loyal son” bring about the difficulty in strengthening the emotional educaton.
According to the investigation, in the Western family, parents show the their appreciation to the children by using the encouraging language. The western parents pay great attention to individual quality and the emotional communication. The family lays emphasis on the construction and the cultivation of emotion. They can vacate their time to talk with the child, listen attentively to the child's aspirations, and emphasize heart to heart communication. In Western countries, the corporal punishment also offends the law. Moreover, the Western parents are very happy praising their own child in front of others, they think that this may raise child's self-confidence. But the Chinese modest attitude causes the guardian not to be glad to do this, because they think that it can cause the child to be arrogant, they like nitpicking and strengthening child's weakness.
Eighthly, education method is different.
The Chinese traditional education method is a type of education in, which people repeat what the book says and imbue the child with it. It emphasizes mechanical memorizing. That is to say, the child receives the study. There is an ancient proverb. If the book is read hundreds of times, its meaning is shown naturally”. Zhu Xi also said “read frequently then read again, if you can’t recite, until you can”. Therefore, the Chinese guardians most like seeing the child sit in front of the desk, either reciting with his head wagging, or bending over the desk doing exercises. The eyes do not leave the books; the hands do not leave the books. “Dig into books of saints oblivious of what is happening outside”. Load the stomach with ancient's knowledge and sage's experience without knowing whether they can be digested or not.
The west emphasizes the child’s “power of understanding”. They like letting the child practise by himself, going to the nature, seeking the knowledge from life. Their study resides in many kinds of forms. The western family has the special cooking class, the hardwork class and the playroom. They do not think that play and study are conflicting with each other, and encourage the child to study outside, pay great attention to the child’s ability to ponder. The parents usually lead the child in seeking the nature’s mystery, help them know about the society. They carry out Dewey’s “education is life”, “school is society”. They encourage the child to go to the library, the museum to read the books he is interested in, and participate in the social practice.
In addition, the western family education differs from china's in many aspects. From instance, Some time ago, there was a program from“Shi hua Shi shuo” of CCTV about family education. A South Korean youth, named Shen **, and his mother were invited to the scene of the program, talking about his life in America. During the talk, we know, his parents sent him to an American military academy to study. There were many “the question students” in that school. Mr. Shen said that when he just arrived there, he was looked down upon and beaten frequently with no reasons by strangers. Therefore, he and his schoolmates fought with each other frequently, the fiercest of all was that his bridge of the nose was broken 13 Times. The Chinese audience present all felt astonished, some one asked his mother, “Why did you send the child to such a school to study?” His mother said, the child had to be tempered.
Of course, when the child is growing, fight is inevitable. The Chinese and the foreign families’ attitude towards it is entirely different. If the child fight, Chinese parents will stop it at once, because the Chinese family and the Chinese education think that “a good child will not fight”. If the parents see that their own child is beaten, or injured. At the scene of fighting, the child's parents will take part in the “war” involuntary. Because, the parents educate the child “the tolerance has the limitation”, “fight with others, if he fails in fighting he will lose the dignity, it is a kind of incompetent performance, showing he won't have a foothold in the society in the future?” Afterwards, the parents, whose child was beaten, often go to the school to have it out and ask the teacher to punish the child who beats their child. However, the parents, whose child beats others or you can say, wins others, are often pleased and praise the child secretly at home, because his child had not suffered a loss, some parents instigated the child to the action openly like this. Most of Chinese parents fear their own child will suffer losses, and also fear hurting others. However some parents like Mr. Shen’s parents, they knew obviously that the school is “a fiery pit”, and still sent the child there, letting the child get beaten. It is simply inconceivable.[ “Mother's Management Art”, Sunqing, Chongqing Publishing House, May 1st,2005, P32]
When American parents see the child fight, they will stand by. My younger uncle works in US. His child once came under attack, he said to the child: “Came under attack? Hit him!” Once my younger uncle returned to visit the family, and mentioned the matter about the child's fights, he said: “You should educate the child like this: “Who hits you, you will hit him.” “Can you instigate the child to mass fighting? Absolutely, that won’t do!” I expressed the intense opposition.
When the child is fighting, the Western teacher will also stand by, observing carefully and they do not stop usually unless there is the danger. Afterwards, they will talk with students, and analyse the gains and losses of fighting. If the student fight, so long as he reports to the teacher afterwards, this is OK, if not, even if he comes under attack, and is reasonable, he will also receive teacher's criticism and the penalty.
About fight, Chinese parents and teachers are act as “ pacificator”, “judge”, American parents and the teachers are act as “teacher”. The thought of dealing with fightst in Chinese families, is based on the Confucianist idea of “frendly and farmonious relations are valued ”; That the American guardians may stand by, or “instigate” the child “to fight back”, is based on the ideal of maintaining the personal interest prominently, achieving and safeguarding individual rights and interests from any injuries ; China's family thinks it's all right if one stops to compromise, so beg as there's peace. The American thinks only individual rights and interests are protected and respected, then there will be the harmony in society and equality of each person.[ “the Difficult Problem of Child's Education,” XiaoFeng, People's Military Doctor Publishing House, June 25th,2004]
Next, education in managing money matters is different.
The Chinese gentleman does not care about fame and fortune. fixed the thinking type of being loyal to others causes the Chinese parents simply to not have the idea of financial transaction. In China, earning money to support one's family and managing the wealth are adult's matter. When having no money they can ask the parents for some. Even if after getting married, they can also do this. The Chinese parents always render economic assistance gratis to the children, and try every means to satisfy the children with the money, and indulge the child's excessive consuming desire.
In the West, especially in US, the education of financial transaction is one of the family educational branches. Therefore, the Western parents extremely focus this. They do not supply the money for the child regularly, but issue the child a fixed fund regularly. And they help the child to set up the correct consciousness of managing finances, foster a good habit of managing money matters, besides these, they also pay great attention to raising basic quality of managing money matters. The western parents teach the child to make plans for budget items, learn to spend money reasonably; They encourage the child to work outside to gain income by themselves; They educate the child to store up the wealth, not to spend money freely; They help the child learn to donate, help other people; They educate the child to be honest, have the self-respect facing money; They tell the child saving money is a virtue; And they teach the child to hold the opportunity of managing money matters and make the correct decision, and be ready to serve others.
Lastly, religious thought and scientific education
Although the Chinese culture begins with religion, we emphasize the scientific nature in education. The People's Republic of China’s compulsory Educational law stipulates explicitly that, education and religion must be separated.
The western religious tradition still retains the formidable influence even in modern times. It permeats through each aspect of educational activities. It not only has the strong religious coloring, but also it entrusts Western education with the internal spiritual value. Because of this, the western missionary schools have had a great vogue. The parents also focus this spiritual belief religious very much in the home education. For example, they must thank God before eating, when doing anything, they must judge from the God's standard, and every weekend, all members of the family must go to the church to make the Mass, so as to, maintain the pure land of mind forever. Therefore, this intense religious idea often causes some educationalists to think religion education may be in harmony with each other.
From what has been discussed above, we may see that either the Chinese tradition of family education or that of the Western family education tradition has its own strong points, they all take root in respective traditional cultural soil. At present, the undesirable phenomenon we meet in the family education lies mainly in the incorrect teaching method.[ ?boardid=22&ID=1326]
Therefore, in my opinion, on the one hand, we need inherit and develop the fine educational tradition of ancient China, on the other hand, we need derive the essence from Western family education, and promote the reform family education characteristic of China. So Chinese family education should be adjusted reasonably, it mainly include the following 4 aspects:
(1) First of all, family educational idea should be modernized, we should reject obsolete educational idea, keep pace with the times. The modern home education content and method in modern family education need science, and educational method needs modernization. Establish modern family educational mechanism, make family educational management standardized. Establish family educational service system, lay down the institution for ensuring the implement of measures.
(2) Establish guardian's concept of law in education, and solve the problem of the parent's doing educational work in accordance with the law; Enhance family educational consciousness of democracy, respect child, equal communication, change the set of bad style of educating the child in an oversimplified and crude way or in concisemeasure or even in corporal punishment;
(3) Set up the new family educational idea, take “teach the child to live straight” as the most important of family education; Make use of the advantage of love education, develop personalization education, develop child’s individuality, and raise different kinds of useful talent for the country;Adopt the scientific method of encouragement, guidance, and tolerance, develop the patient education, enhance the child’s self-respect, the self-confidence and the desire to do better unceasingly;
(4)Follow closely development of the knowledge economy and the information age, further open up the family educational mentality, enhance opening consciousness, enhance the family educational compatibility; Solve the education tendency - “regard wisdom and belittle morality”, promote organic synthesis between intelligence factors and the non-intelligence factors, and educate the child to learn to study and seek knowledge; Inherit Chinese outstanding family educational tradition. Meanwhile the child must also face the world, absorb and introduce the quintessence foreign ideology and culture, and carry out the communication between Eastern and Western family education.[ ?lei=12&id=5602&Newsid=3566
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【Conclusion 】 All in all, there are many differences between China and Western family education and each has its strong points and weak points. We should reject the dross and absorb the cream of them, advance the family educational modernization instantaneously.
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