中西方礼仪差异 A Comparison Between Chinese Etiquette and the Weste

中西方礼仪差异

Abstract

Since different countries have different histories and cultures, there are a lot of differences in the habit of conducts and the ceremony, especially between China and the West, the jokes and the mistakes caused by misunderstanding is not unusual. This shows that the understanding of the different etiquettes between Chinese and  the Westerners is absolutely necessary. In the office, to understand each other’s customer will be conductive to the exchanges between the countries. A person who understands others’ rituals and folk customs can be seen as respecting for others and can be easier to make a good impression on the other side. Along with the constant development of Chinese culture and the Western culture, Chinese ritual and the Western ritual are fusions. The Westerners have accepted the reasonable factors in Chinese culture and other important feelings. Chinese people have gradually accepted the advanced civilization of the Western culture and etiquette style. However, in real life, the etiquette’s impact due to cultural differences between China and the West still exists. The paper explores the differences between Chinese etiquette and the Western etiquette to make Chinese communicate with the Westerners more easily.

Key Words本论文由无忧论文网整理提供

Etiquette; comparison; Chinese etiquette; the Western etiquette

摘　要

由于各国的历史和文化底蕴不同，各国人民在进行礼尚交往时的习惯也有不少差异。特别是中西方之间，礼仪上的差异很大，因为不了解这些差异而引起的误会和笑话也不少见。
由此可见了解中西方交往的习惯差异是很有必要的。往大处来说，一个国家无论是在政治上，，还是在经济贸易中，了解对方国家的礼仪习惯，将有利于各国之间的交往。从小处来说，一个人了解对方的礼仪和民间习惯，是对对方的尊重且容易给对方留下好印象，以便交往的顺利进行。随着中西方文化的不断发展，中西方的礼仪正在相互融合，西方人逐渐接受了中国文化中重情感等合理因素，中国人也逐渐接受了西方文化中先进文明的礼仪和交往方式。但在现实生活中，由于中西方文化的差异对礼仪产生的影响还很多，为此本文探讨研究了中西方礼仪的差异，使中西方人们之间的交往更加容易。

关键词

礼仪；差异；中国的礼仪；西方的礼仪本论文由无忧论文网整理提供

 
Introduction
 
Etiquette is the process and means to show respect to each other in interpersonal relationship by certain, common procedures. The Etiquette can be said to be a person’s external appearance of inward cultivation and quality. Firstly, it can help people raise their self-cultivation. Secondly, it will promote social interaction and improve people’s interpersonal relationship. It also can purify the society. Since different countries have different historical and cultural backgrounds. There are a lot of differences in the ceremony, especially between China and the West. The understanding of the differences between Chinese etiquette and the Western etiquette are absolutely necessary. The paper explores the differences of Chinese etiquette and the Western etiquette. In modern society, it seems that the world is getting smaller and smaller, people are very active with frequent exchanges. Many countries are paying great attention to combine international etiquette with national etiquette creatively. Etiquette is the common wealth of Chinese civilization and the Western civilization.
 
Ⅰ. The Important Role of Etiquette and the Value of the Study of Chinese Etiquette and the Western Etiquette本论文由无忧论文网整理提供

Etiquette is an important part of human life. It has many functions. So it plays an important role in human society.

A. The Concept of Etiquette and the Reasons for Studying Etiquette
Etiquette is the process and means to show respect to each other in interpersonal relationship by certain, common procedures. Etiquette can be said to be a person’s external appearance of inward cultivation and quality. From the aspect of communication, interpersonal etiquette can be regarded as a kind of art, a method of communication. It is a common respect for person and a friendly practice in interpersonal relationships. From the respect of transmitting, interpersonal rituals can be roughly divided into chief etiquette, business etiquette, service etiquette, social etiquette, foreign etiquette and several other major branches. Firstly, it can help people to raise their self-cultivation. Secondly, it will promote social interaction and improve people’s interpersonal relationship. It also can purify the ethos of society. From the point of view of collectivity, etiquette can create the image, improve the customs ultimately and achieve the purpose of enhancing the economy and social benefits. Etiquette, which is an important part of the company’s culture and the entrepreneur’s spirit, is a major attachment of group’s image. Almost all international enterprises have a high standard of etiquette and regard etiquette as an important part of group’s culture. At the same time, it also can be regarded as the important software to obtain international fame. Therefore, studying etiquette is the trend of the times and the actual need of enhancing the competition.
 
B. The Value of the Study of the Western Etiquette and Chinese Etiquette
Since different countries have different histories and cultures, there are a lot of differences in the habit of conduct and the ceremony, especially between China and the West, the jokes and the mistakes caused by misunderstanding is not unusual. In modern history, there are two stories concerning the misunderstanding of different etiquettes. The first one is about Li Hongzhang who was invited by Bismarck to a diner. Due to a lack of the Western etiquette knowledge, he drank the water which was used to wash hands after eating the fruit. Then Bismarck did not understand Chinese customer, in order not to make Li Hongzhang lose his face, he drank the water too. Other officers also followed him and refrained from laughing. Here is another story: a KMT officer and his wife went to the airport to meet a consultant from the United States. After the meeting, the consultant said “Your wife is really beautiful!” The officer felt embarrassed and replied : “哪里，哪里！” It is just a polite way which is very common in China for the kind of the words he addressed. But the clumsy interpreter translated : “哪里，哪里！”  like “where, where?” American consultant couldn’t understand, he thought “I just praised his wife, and why he asked me where his wife is beautiful”. Then, he said: “she is beautiful from head to toe.” These two jokes are due to the lack of etiquette knowledge about the differences between China and the West. This shows that the understanding of the differences of the Western etiquettes and Chinese etiquettes are absolutely necessary. To the officers, to understand each other’s customs will be conductive to the exchanges between the different countries. A person who understands others’ rituals and folk customs can be seen as respecting for others and can be easier to make a good impression on the other side. Along with the constant development of Chinese and the Western cultures, Chinese ritual and the Western ritual are fusions. The Westerners have accepted the reasonable factors in Chinese culture and other important feelings. At the same time Chinese people have gradually accepted the advanced civilization of the Western culture and etiquette style. However, in real life, the impact on etiquette due to cultural differences between China and the West still exists. So the study of the Western etiquette and Chinese etiquette is very valuable and reasonable.

Ⅱ. The Difference Between Chinese Etiquette and the Western Etiquette

There are three main differences between Chinese etiquette and the Western etiquette. The first one is different origins of Chinese etiquette and the Western etiquette. In China, etiquette is equal to courtesy and ceremony. In the West, the word ‘etiquette’ used to mean “keep off the grass”. The second one is the differences of  cultural backgrounds. The third one is the differences of educations.

A. The Origins of Chinese Etiquette and the Western Etiquette
Chinese etiquette and the Western etiquette have different origins.

1. The Origin of Chinese Etiquette本论文由无忧论文网整理提供
In China, etiquette is equal to courtesy and ceremony. The essence of etiquette is the method of dealing with people and the belief in ghosts and spirits. People consider that all things are controlled by the ghosts which can not be seen. Therefore, the etiquette is originated from the belief in ghosts and spirits, as well as a special form of belief in ghosts and spirits. China is a state of ceremonies. Back to five thousand years ago, etiquette used to be the core of traditional culture. Up to now, the etiquette has been really reformed. Thus it becomes rituals of modern civilization. Chinese etiquette in Chinese culture plays a “quasi-legal” role. Etiquette’s origins can be traced back to the early time of human beings. It should be said that at the very beginning of the history of the Chinese nation, etiquette was generated along with the human activities and with a primitive religion. Etiquette is the system to deal with the three relationships among the people, God and the ghosts. It is said that there were “five ceremonies” in ancient China. In fact etiquette can be divided into two main parts, one is politics, and the other is life. Chinese legal system was bred during the establishment and implementation of the protocol. The essence of etiquette is the way how to deal with people and the belief in ghosts and spirits.

2. The Origin of the Western Etiquette
In the Western countries, the word ‘etiquette’ used to mean “keep off the grass”. Louis XIV’s gardener noticed that the aristocrats were walking through his gardens and then he put up signs (etiquette) to warn them off. The dukes and duchesses walked right past these signs. Due to this blatant disregard, the king of Versailles decreed that no individual was to go beyond the bounds of the etiquettes. The meaning of etiquette would later include the ticket to court functions that lists the instructions on which a person would stand and what was to be done. Etiquette, like language, has evolved, but it still means literally “keep off the grass”. Until the 1960’s, the importance of good manners was taught without question, but with the liberated 70’s, it came a decline in the popularity of teaching proper etiquette. In 2004, a new emphasis has been placed on returning to traditional values. Proper etiquette and protocol have given children and adults a vital tool that provides not only a competitive edge, but a sense of confidence.

B. The Impact of the Western Culture and Chinese Culture on Etiquette
Chinese and the Westerners have different cultural backgrouds. Chinese etiquette and the Western etiquette are affected by their culture deeply.

1. The Impact of Different Modes of Social Interaction on Etiquette
Chinese cultures and the Western cultures have attached great importance to interpersonal relationship. However, they were clearly different in exchanging ideas. Chinese are very warm and hospitable, which contained in relationships, being not seemed to be preserved. It is granted to understand the age, occupation, income, marital status, children and other issues with each other. The Westerners will generally not do like that. Chinese will ask the price of goods which is bought by others directly. In the eyes of Chinese people, the price is only for items or rank. It is said the quality of goods. In Westerners’ eyes, if you do the same thing, it may be regarded as the inquiry of other’s economic conditions. It is also the privacy of the Westerners which should not be asked directly. If you want to know the price in details, you can only tactfully praise the achievement of the goods. Under such circumstances, the Westerners will tell you if it is cheap or expensive in general, but they normally do not tell you the price. Chinese prefer to ask “where are you going?” when they meet others. This is just a form of calling in China. And if it happens in the United States, it might make the other feel embarrassed, because it belongs to other’s privacy you shouldnot interfere in. In addition, the distance of the interaction between people can be divided into four types. There are close distance, individual distance, social distance and public distance. Chinese people’s kind relatively belongs to close distance. We often see two Chinese girls walking on the street arm-in-arm which is rare to see in the West. The Westerners think that the Chinese are too close. On the contrary, the Chinese feel that the Westerners are very cold, arrogant, distant with others, and unfriendly. If Chinese people find that there is a thrum in other’s clothes, they will naturally pick it off. It is a bad behavior in the eyes of the Westerners. When Chinese meet a friend who wears very pretty clothes, he will stroke the clothes before asking price or texture. The Westerners will not do like that but directly praise his friends and his beautiful clothes.

2. The Differences between the Personal Philosophies of Etiquette
Chinese and the Westerners have differences between the personal philosophies of etiquette.

(1)  Individualism of the West and Modesty of China.
The Westerners are proud of the achievements of individuals. They never cover up their self-confidence, and are always proud of the accomplishment and the ecstasy of themselves. Conversely, the promotion of Chinese culture does not flaunt personal honor. Generally, Chinese people usually oppose or defy the people who are proud of themselves. However, the Westerners are dissatisfied with the Chinese self-denial or self-modesty. “Your English is very good!” “No, my English is poor.” For Chinese people, it is a modest response. But for the Westerners, it is not only denying himself but also denying people who appreciate him. This shows that the modesty of Chinese style is not feasible in the West.

(2)Self-centered and Selfless Education
The Westerners have a strong sense of independence and self-center. One should be responsible for himself. In the Western society, every one’s quality of life and survival depends on their ability. Therefore, each person must be self-struggle and put personal interests to the first place. They are not accustomed to caring for others, helping others or talking about the affairs of others. It precisely can be seen from the above that helping others or being helped by others in the West are some embarrassing incidents. Being helped by others expresses their inability and helping others will be considered as interference in others’ private affairs. Chinese code of conduct is “I am useful to the community, no matter whether it is useful to others.” The value of the individual is embodied in the dedication. Chinese culture promotes a noble sentiment—selfless devotion. In China, activities concerning 本论文由无忧论文网整理提供others and giving others very careful consideration is a virtue. Therefore, Chinese people are willing to care about other’s family affairs. This would be regarded as intrusion in the Western countries.

(3) The Spirit of Exploration and Innovation and the Spirit of Middlebrow
In Western countries, people are encouraged to be explorative, be innovative and do outstanding terrific cases that can not be done by our predecessors. Traditional Chinese culture requires people to be impartial, follow moderation. They are more willing to maintain the status quo and harmony. Of course, China has also made great efforts on promoting innovation. However, the adventurous spirit still can not be comparable with the West.

(4)Individual Freedom and Teamwork
The Westerners cherish individual freedom and independence. They are not willing to be subjected to any limitation. Chinese culture mostly emphasizes on collective interests. They subordinate their personal interests to advocate collective interests. They advocate unity, cooperation and unison.

3. The Impact of Different Social Customs on Etiquette
In Chinese culture, men are usually respected highly. This was mainly affected by the feudal system. Chinese culture attaches importance on gender equality in modern society. But in some cases man is still superior to women. Women are still subjected to discrimination. In Europe and the United States as well as other Western countries, respecting on women is their custom. Lady First has become one of the main principals of communication in the Western countries. No matter in public places or in other places, men should take care of women, for instance, when lady want to shake hands, then man can be followed; man has to let lady sit down firstly in a dinner; lady orders dishes firstly, lady firstly enters room, and lady firstly enters elevators. The Western etiquette is gradually changing into integration and unity and becoming more international.
Moreover, as one of the special representatives of the Eastern countries in dealing with generational relations, China is the special representative of the Eastern countries of treating the elders respectively and honorably. For example, many Chinese people are concerned that the person who takes care of elders is a good person. During the New Year and any other important holidays, the elders will have fun with their children together more than usual. In Western countries, people have been advocating self-reliance, so the connection between parents and adult children are on the decreasing. It makes many elders often feel lonely and with a sense of misery in the Western countries.

4. The Impact of Different Hierarchism of People Status on Etiquette
Chinese culture has a strong sense of hierarchism. In the originations or in the families, people who ignore the differences of hierarchism will be regarded as impolite people. The traditional concepts of monarchs and officials, father and son or other concepts are still deeply rooted in Chinese mind. Father has absolute authority of his son, and the teachers also have absolute authority of students. Family background still plays an important role in people’s lives. In such families, the elders help the young parents to take care of the children. The children grow up to help their parents to support the elders. They help each other. There is interdependence among family members and a closer family tie. The Western countries, except Britain and a few other countries, have a hereditary aristocracy and a rigid hereditary system. Most Western countries are advocating the concept of equality. Especially in the United States, people advocate equality for all. Very few people will be proud of their illustrious family background. Few people will feel ashamed of themselves for being born in a poor family, because they know that their efforts would be crowned with success. There is a popular saying: “If working hard, even a cow boy can be president.” There are no different grades in American family. They respect each other. Parents and children can address each other’s name directly. The concept of the family is rather weak. They are usually reluctant to make too many sacrifices for the family.本论文由无忧论文网整理提供

C. A Comparison of Chinese Etiquette Education and the Western Etiquette Education
Etiquette is the common wealth of the Western civilization and Chinese civilization. Etiquette education is an important part of citizenship education. Deeply analyzing the content, the method and the status of Chinese etiquette education and the Western countries’ etiquette education, enhance the quintessence of world civilization and the civic quality. Education has important practical and theoretic significance.

1. Etiquette Education in the Western Countries
Etiquette education in the Western countries is the combination of etiquette education and civic moral education; etiquette education in the Western countries is the combination of etiquette education and moral education of school ceremonies.

(1)The Combination of Etiquette Education and Civic Moral Education
The concept of the Western word “citizen” originated in the ancient Greek political life of city-states. The concept of Citizens not showed only the person’s position and status, but they are also called “noble person” and “a moral person”. In the thirteenth to the fourteenth century, the independent and self-governing campaign of European cities promoted the development of cities. Under the control of “Charter of cities”, a general sense of “civic” has been made in the development of civic virtue. With the raise of modern Western society and the establishment of the social contract theory, members of society changed from the natural person to citizenship. The requirement of civil rights came out. Focusing on protecting individual rights and the pursuit of the public interest, it has created a variety of moral behavior. These really relied immediately on the strength of the system and derived from the social relations of civil society. At that time, person respects for others and treating others well were generally good. The Western etiquette came into being in that case. It can be traced back to the twentieth century. It also can be traced back to Moors of Spain. At that time, a new upper-class society was mainly formed by the Royal, the nobility and clergy. There was a new social norm to follow. It gradually became palace etiquette in the middle Ages and the Renaissance. It affected the whole Western Europe. Their description and recommendations of etiquette were speared from Europe to America. Many had become General Clauses of international etiquette. It is generally believed in the West that slightly tedious ritual can avoid the negligence of behaviors. The common sense of etiquette determines largely whether people can exchange happily or not, so they pay a special attention to cultivating citizens to abide by the rules of courtesy. “Not to use foul language, not to interrupt someone else who is speaking, not to crowd, not to steal, not to lie…”and so on “obey habit, obey established rules, obey all the appearance and the standardization of the word…obey all the rules of the world”. It is the source of morality. That elegant demeanor led to good behaviors. Morality is a sort of courtesy, a self-etiquette and a courtesy of an inner world. We have a responsibility to obey the regulation. It is one of the most important ceremonies. Conversely, courtesy is the moral of a body, an ethical behavior and regulations of a social life. It is just superficial virtues. The etiquette can make the virtue more lovable.

(2)The Combination of Etiquette Education and Moral Education of School Ceremonies
It can be found in moral education of the Western countries that etiquette is the major subject of moral education. On the moral lesson in many countries, people often teach students the etiquette knowledge in direct way. This is not a boring sermon. It uses lively and diverse forms, with the characteristics of youth, living with the practical teaching, paying attention to the cultivation of the ability of students to observe and analyze ethical issues and understand others, to benefit the people to be responsible for the moral values and make sense of responsibility to society.

(3)Adoption of a Comprehensive Penetration for Etiquette Education
The Western countries pay attention to comprehensive permeability of moral education, rather than forcefully indoctrinate. Etiquette education is not accepted. They are generally not allowed to insist on instilling certain values. They think the values of education can not be limited to a few hours teaching in a day, but they pay attention to diversifying the form of moral education in schools. For example, education in the United States in schools is affected by the pragmatism, emphasizing schools as a society and paying attention to the practical problems the students faced. They targeted to solve the problem through organizing a variety of activities and offering courses. They pay attention to improving students’ ability, making they focus on the moral and training them. They urge students to take part in social activities actively. They also pay attention to solving practical problems in the moral education, focusing on the theory of moral education and applying the theory in practice. It has made the practice and etiquette education both be supported by theoretic. It has made the practice activity more colorful. The religions and moral education in the West are extremely characteristic and more typical. Some important states’ education laws require all schools to practice religious courses in religious activities, especially in Britain. During the implementation of religious education in school activities, they pay more attention to some basic、and common religious knowledge. There are many kinds of religious ceremonies education to let them know their relationship with life、nature and society, to enable students to understand the concept of traditional social values of religious rituals.

2. Etiquette Education in China
Etiquette education in China is deeply influenced by cultural and moral decency in the prominent position; etiquette education in China emphasizes the moral law of etiquette education and the integration of本论文由无忧论文网整理提供 practice; etiquette education in China shows characteristics of a strong state intervention.

(1)Deeply influenced by cultural, moral decency in the prominent position
China was deeply affected by the Confucian culture. They also attached a great importance to moral education. The government put great emphasis on the education of social norms, moral responsibility, racial harmony and loyalty to the state education. They pay attention to the moral and ethical values of traditional education. They consider traditional moral values as a shield against the negative effects of Western culture. They write Confucian ethics into textbooks. The unique culture traditions and etiquette education model have been formed. In addition, the history of China is mostly influenced by Confucianism. Nowadays, the influence of Confucian can still be seen everywhere in China. Chinese ceremony shows on Confucianism and Confucian ceremonies of worship and admiration. It becomes one of the famous cultural landscapes.

(2)Emphasizing the Moral Law of Etiquette Education, and the Integration of Practice
They are fully aware that to develop civic virtues is a long process that needs to imperceptibly accumulate. Thus moral education should be started from the youths and progressed by practice. China attaches importance to moral behavior in the practice of their ideological and moral formation of the role. They pay attention to moral education and ability training from the simple personal pursuit to the focus on predicting development to meet the needs of modern society and the basic moral caliber. The practice of moral education in China attaches great importance to social practice in the role during the ideological formation. They believe that students should not only grasp the knowledge of the system in classrooms, but also should have a personal ability to practice. They highlight the stages of moral development of students in teaching in China. Moral education will be divided into six different levels of development priorities. It should start with individual students and then extend to families, neighbors’ schools, the states, the whole world, and all of human race. Therefore, the curriculum focuses on the development of the following years. The whole curriculum follows the traditional teaching of moral values to students on social norms, moral responsibility, racial harmony and love for the motherland. China also stresses the flexible combination of the moral education in direct and indirect ways. Decency and moral education in such a good way become an important part of education.

(3)Showing Characteristics of a Strong State Intervention
   Chinese government has attached great importance to students’ liturgical norm education and taken it as an important part of moral education. The targets of the school moral education and the education’s curriculums have highlighted the etiquette education as a whole. Furthermore, China also asks every school to make strict rules and regulations for both teachers and students. Their language, clothes and behaviors have uniform requirements. On one hand, this reunification of the moral education management system demonstrates the state’s authority and the will of ensuring the strict levels of government. On the other hand, it shows that the government attaches great importance to moral education in schools. Governments at all levels from top to bottom through the direct supervision and guidance should ensure that the moral education would not become a mere formality.  In a certain extent, it raises the effectiveness of school education on etiquette.
Ⅲ. The Common Wealth of Chinese Civilization and the Western Civilization

The etiquette is the common wealth of Chinese civilization and the Western civilization. Protocol is an important symbol of human civilization; etiquette is the immortal essence of the Western civilization; protocol is the integration between Chinese ethics and the Western ethics.

A. An Important Symbol of Human Civilization本论文由无忧论文网整理提供
Protocol is the product of the historical development of social etiquette. It has distinctive characteristics of the times. People have different understanding of the content of the protocol in different ages for different ethnic awareness. The definition which is the origin of the earliest civilization culture is generally not in doubt. Etiquette is the standard of human civilization. It is also an important part of the community. A nation which has a good quality of the nation is a polite and compliant one. The formation of educational attainments is a gradual process. Therefore, every country in the world considers doing things properly as a symbol of civilization.

B. The Immortal Essence of the Western Civilization
Modern etiquette is evolved from the traditional rituals. The ceremony combines with criteria and become immoral essence of the Western civilization. Along with the development of the times, the nations, and the region’s aesthetic requirements, etiquette become the tool which pursuits the beauty of the life and the society.

C. The Integration between Chinese and the Western Ethics
In modern society, it seems that the world is getting smaller and smaller, people are very active in frequent exchanges. Human decency plays the basic role of social ethics. It is the part which is the most straightforward and the easiest to operate during the process of globalization. It has become a code of conduct, guidelines and the ceremony together with the goal of establishing a harmonious relationship in social intercourse. The international etiquette combines ritual characteristics of various countries and people and can be understood by the people of different countries and nations. International etiquette can be shared by more and more different cultures and customs, because etiquette itself is a cultural phenomenon. Culture includes both ideas and customs, and both spiritual habits and physical habits. The etiquette obviously has the cultural identity which combines ideas and customs, habits of mind and bodies. It reflects the sense of the organic unity of moral and ethical behaviors. Therefore, many countries are paying great attention to combining international etiquette with national etiquette creatively. This means that etiquette in the Western and Chinese society is in a more appropriate location.

Conclusion

From the discussion above, we can see there are three main differences between Chinese etiquette and the Western etiquette. The first one is different origins of Chinese etiquette and the Western etiquette. In China, etiquette is equal to courtesy and ceremony. In the West, the word ‘etiquette’ used to mean “keep off the grass”. The second one is the differences of  cultural backgrounds. The third one is the differences of educations.
In modern society, it seems that the world is getting smaller and smaller, people are very active with frequent exchanges. Human decency plays the basic role of social ethics. The international etiquette combines ritual characteristics of various countries and people and can be understood by the people of different countries and nations. International etiquette can be shared by more and more people of different countries, because etiquette itself is a cultural phenomenon. Therefore, many countries are paying great attention to combining international etiquette with national etiquette creatively. This means that etiquette in the Western and Chinese society is in a more appropriate location.

Acknowledgements

I would like to take this opportunity to thank my tutor—Tan Jie, who offered me academic and constructive advice on composing this paper. His encouragement and help are worthy of high acknowledgements.本论文由无忧论文网整理提供
At the same time, I want to thank my roommates, who offered me excellent environment to write my paper.
And I would like to take this opportunity to thank all teachers for their hard work and constructive advice.

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